Boyfriend Refuses to Propose to Girlfriend Despite Her Wishes, She Starts to Question Their Future After He Gives Her a 'Promise Necklace' Instead of a Ring

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Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Aug 10, 2024 7:00 PM EDT

Not every girl dreams about a grand marriage proposal. Some girls would prefer their partners do something small and intimate, and some would rather not have a marriage proposal at all, and simply decide together to get married without the fuss and the stress of the proposal.

However, every girl would agree that we all deserve to get the marriage proposal we want, no matter how it looks. It is the start of a couple's happily ever after, and no one should settle on it.

The girl in this Reddit story is currently not only settling on how her proposal would look, but she is settling on having a proposal altogether, as it seems like her boyfriend is not going to do it at all. Despite the couple being together for almost 5 years, and having conversations about them getting married, the boyfriend refuses to propose, and instead decides to give his girlfriend a 'promise neckless', to basically shut her up…

Scroll down to read about her reaction. After you are done with this story, click here for a story of a woman who broke up with her fiancé after he told her to leave his son's wedding.

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  • 01
    My partner (29M) wants to get me (26F) a promise necklace instead of an engagement ring
    via u/Either_Option5465
  • 02
    I have been with boyfriend for 4 years now and we have been living together for 3 years and have a pet together. We both have good jobs and hope to a buy a house soon.
    via u/Either_Option5465
  • 03
    We have talked about engagement and marriage and he always gets defensive when we talk about getting engaged/ engagement rings as he thinks they are pointless.
    via u/Either_Option5465
  • 04
    When we started dating he said that he wouldn't wait more than 5 years to propose but now he is changing his tune and keeps saying there is no rush is against engagements all of a
    via u/Either_Option5465
  • 05
    sudden. He knows I want to get engaged and married but he is always making excuses. He is now saying that he wants to get me a diamond necklace (promise necklace). I am
    via u/Either_Option5465
  • 06
    starting to feel resentment because I don't understand why he keeps holding back on proposing. He wants to spend a lot of money on a diamond necklace but doesn't want to
    via u/Either_Option5465
  • 07
    get an engagement ring. I feel like I am wasting my time and I ask myself why does it need to take him so long to decide if he wants to marry me. He knows I want kids in the next few years. I feel so discouraged now and feel like giving up.
    via u/Either_Option5465
  • 08
    Appreciate any thoughts/advice TLDR; My boyfriend of 4 years doesn't want to propose but wants to get a promise ring even though he knows I want to get engaged. I feel like I am
    via u/Either_Option5465
  • 09
    wasting my time because it is taking him long to decide if he wants to marry me. He I don't want to wait years for a proposal.
    via u/Either_Option5465
  • 10
    ultraprismic ⚫ 10 hr. ago Have you heard of a "shut up ring?" He's trying to give you a shut up necklace. You probably shouldn't buy a house with someone who isn't ready to commit to a life together.
    via u/ultraprismic
  • 11
    Either Option5465 OP · 10 hr. ago Thanks, I had a feeling that it might just be a shut up necklace. His priority seems to be buying a house.
    via u/Either_Option5465
  • 12
    SpanielGal 9 hr. ago Then he needs to use HIS MONEY for HIS downpayment, mortgage and insurance. DO NOT give this man any money for a house or anything else. Time to cut bait and find a keeper......this guy isn't it.
    via u/SpanielGal
  • 13
    OldLeatherPumpkin . 7 hr. ago If you guys can't afford an engagement ring and he's worried it will delay your ability to buy a home, then that's fine. You don't need a diamond ring, or any other diamond jewelry, to get married.
    via u/OldLeatherPumpkin
  • 14
    You can get married, buy a house, and then save up to buy you a great ring later on when you're ready to make that a financial priority, I'm thinking the ring is just an excuse he's making to not get
    via u/OldLeatherPumpkin
  • 15
    engaged or married yet, but before jumping to that conclusion, I would have a conversation with him and make it clear that you won't be buying any property with him until after you're married. If you're open to waiting until after
    via u/OldLeatherPumpkin
  • 16
    marriage for an expensive ring, or to getting a less expensive (non- diamond) one as an engagement ring, then let him know that. Just get it all out in the open. And then go from there. If he still doesn't feel ready to get married, or even to put a timeline on when
    via u/OldLeatherPumpkin
  • 17
    he'll be ready to get engaged, then I would sit with that truth. Ask yourself whether you actually want to marry someone who is still on the fence about you, after 3 years of cohabiting, while you share a pet, and when he's nearly 30 years old. Because it may be
    via u/OldLeatherPumpkin
  • 18
    that you two aren't actually compatible in the long term, and he feels that deep down, but he also loves you and doesn't want to break up yet, so he's just stuck, and not willing to move forward toward an uncomfortable truth. If that's the case, then it's better to
    via u/OldLeatherPumpkin
  • 19
    get that out in the open now so you can talk about it, not to pretend it isn't happening and stress yourselves out trying to avoid it.
    via u/OldLeatherPumpkin
  • 20
    Either_Option5465 OP · 7 hr. ago Thanks for the advice. The price of the ring isn't the issue, he can afford it and he knows I don't want an expensive ring/wedding. I've told him that I only want an intimate wedding/elopement
    via u/Either_Option5465
  • 21
    so the cost of getting married shouldn't be an issue. In light of that he's still hesitant on getting engaged or getting married. Sometimes I feel he's just too comfortable and doesn't want me to leave him.
    via u/Either_Option5465
  • 22
    AnOutrageousCloud · 10 hr. ago Promise jewelry is for children too young to get married. He doesn't want to marry you enough to marry you. Stop wasting your time and go find someone who knows deep in his soul he can't be happy without you.
    via u/AnOutrageousCloud
  • 23
    Either Option5465 OP 10 hr. ago He didn't believe in promise jewelry and now he's saying he wants to get me a promise necklace. I feel like he's just doing it to avoid buying an engagement ring and getting. married.
    via u/Either_Option5465
  • 24
    redtablebluechair · 10 hr. ago There are three kinds of dragging- their-feet men: 1. There are the ones who lead a girl on for years and years, then they're married to the next one within 18 months.
    via u/redtablebluechair
  • 25
    2. The ones who do indeed never get married. 3. The ones who reluctantly get married, spoiling everything about the engagement process, and then they hold it against you forever. You deserve to be with someone who is excited to marry you.
    via u/redtablebluechair
  • 26
    Either_Option5465 OP. 9 hr. ago He told me that he made a 5 year plan before he met me - he would wait 5 years before deciding to pop the question. I asked him: "if you met someone and knew she was the one within a year, why would you
    via u/Either_Option5465
  • 27
    wait 5 years just because of a plan you made." He insisted that he would still wait and that he's not his parents and his brother (both got married within a year).
    via u/Either_Option5465
  • 28
    I feel like if it was the next one he'd be married within 18 month. I want to be with someone excited to marry me and I currently feel deflated.
    via u/Either_Option5465

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boyfriend relationship advice marriage break up drama relationship-drama reddit story proposal relationships girlfriend advice couples love Reddit dating
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